Chapter Sex

The Climax

Do you know what most people have in mind when they talk about "sexual climax"? It is to laugh. The boin-n-ng. Yes, they're referring to the boin-n-ng. How about that?

How long does one last? Five seconds at most. And this they want to call the "climax" of sex. I figure a person must have a pretty small view of sex if he thinks it is something that can be climaxed in five seconds. For that matter, even if one were to add together the "climaxes" of a lifetime, it couldn't come to more than a few hours of big thrill. To live a lifetime as a sexual being for the sake of a scattering of spasmodic boin-n-ngs hardly seems a climax worthy of the name. This is not deny that a boin-n-ng can feel real good, but no five-second trip is all that good.

And yet, in very truth, all the puff and blow of today's sexual advertisement is designed to convince us that such climax is the be-all and end-all of sex, that it is indeed the be-all and end-all of life itself, the goal and crown that makes human existence worthwhile, the highest reach of the human spirit (well, not exactly "spirit," of course, but what passes for such in modern anthropology), and--as some theologians have implied--an equivalent of worship and sacrament. Being such, climactic highs are, of course, to be sought at all costs, doing whatever is necessary to collect them.

But Puritans know that this idea is a malicious lie aimed at cheating them out of the true climax of their sexual activity. They know what these "climaxes," these twangings of the glands, really amount to. By themselves they amount to diversions of the moment, giggles of gratification, the contemporary equivalent of bread and circuses. Nevertheless, when Puritan sex is set free and allowed full play in seeking its true climax, then these fleeting but fervid fragments become something else again, namely, signs, promises, and illuminational presentiments of that grand climax of which these are merely herald and servant.

"And what, pray tell, is this alleged grand climax? 'Marriage,' I suppose?"

Well, that isn't the very word I was going to use, but your guess shows that you are right in there with us.

Puritan thinkers argue among themselves as to just when and how the true sexual climax happens, but they have no problem as to where it lies. Some maintain that it comes with the birth of a baby--a loved, wanted, family-wrapped baby. Others would agree in principle but maintain that true sexual climax has been achieved only if the newborn infant is the couple's grandchild--demanding considerably less of floor-walking, nighttime feeding, and dirty diaper-changing than first-order babies do.

However, all are certain that the highest sort of climax centers in a house that sex built, a home where mother and father, grandpa and grandma, brother and sister, friends and playmates, and even the cats and dogs enjoy the good times (and the good people) that are produced, not simply by twanging glands, but by full-bodied, long-lasting, deeply rooted sex.

It is of course recognized that homes of this sort have a most ameliorative effect on the communities and society of which they are a part. Even so, there is some argument as to whether all of this joy, peace, and well-being can be claimed as sexual climax. More recently, however, there has arisen a radical school of Puritan theologians--derisively referred to as "the sex fiends"--who have dared to go even further. They claim that the ultimate sexual climax is what the Bible knows as "the kingdom of God."

Of course, very few garden-variety Puritans support this extremist view, but the logic of the "fiends"' position has proved hard to refute. Undeniably the kingdom of God marks the climax of the long-drawn contest between sin and righteousness which we know as "the human race." Undeniably, too, man (embracing woman) is a sexua1 creature. His sex is a vital part of his humanity and a motive power that can be of tremendous help in moving it toward its destiny.

Conversely, it is clear that fouled-up sex is one significant factor in the general foul-up of humanity under which we presently suffer. Thus, in the process of getting our overall humanity straightened out, God is going to have to straighten out man's sex life too. And if that achievement won't qualify as "sexual climax," I don't know what would; certainly no one would be so stupid as to choose any five-second eruption in place of that! The only smart alternative, then, is to set up the situation so that these short-burst experiences serve that one. Indeed, these deserve to be called "climaxes" only insofar as they mark progress toward a realized humanity, the end and goal for which sex was created in the first place.

Whether or not this theology of the sex fiends will carry the day and provide the platform for a Puritan Revolution remains to be seen. But one way or another, a sexual climax must come.

NOTE: Let it not be said--as some people certainly will try to say--that this book would put a damper on the fun of sex. Make the sex act as attractive as you can; attribute to it what you will of fun and thrill. Our thesis is simply that, in marriage (true marriage), sex is all that and more--much more.

But who can know this for a fact and testify to it as a fact except those who can speak from the experience of having been well married--and thus married for some time? But, by the very nature of the case, such people will all have to be over thirty and thus members of that generation that simply can't know how it is and whose testimony, therefore, automatically is discredited.

So what to do?

There is only one thing to do. If you are under thirty, determine to test for yourself sex by the marriage method, and then report back in, say, fifteen to twenty years. At that time you can try to convince your own kids of the truth of what we say. See you then!